in memory of dil

its a huge wonder really. you never really notice the moment you've made a friend. is it at that point of time u introduce yourself? or maybe its the moment you two first smile. or share a joke. or start to gossip abt the other fella across the room. the exact moment where u find a friend slips past you.

yrs pass. you're sitting in your room, and you start to smile although u'r all alone. memories fill your tots. abt the first ice cream you threw at your friend's face... abt all the moments you skipped classes together just because u cant stand the food at the canteen and just had to lunch out. and you remember abt the time you cried on his/her shoulders wen sumthing bad came up at home.

and suddenly, u feel so empty... and alone.

coz u realized dat, no, u have not been in touch for so long. and something really hurts inside.

i've not given much tot abt all this. maybe im too bz. or maybe... i didnt notice it till now. one of my close friends died during the holidays. i was on my way to burger king to study with syifaa when i received the call from my blood brother. dil was my brothers age. 22.

i just sat there. not doing anything. my head went blank. there were no tears, no wailing... just this very, very, very empty painfulness i felt in my heart. i remembered the time wen my brother and him carried me wen i fell. i was 6 then. my leg got caught in this drain. we were playing catching. i was a sore loser. we all were. it was so unfair! they never let me win. but they made it a point to buy me ice cream latter.

its been weeks since he died. and it was only last night dat i sat down and cried. i guess the reality of it has never really sink in. till now.

and i realized im missing alot of my friends. those stupid minahs(i'm saying this with alot of affection ok) from ai, lan and my other brothers from my youth and the closest friend i had in yj last year... amir. ive drifted apart from all of them so much. who initiated it? wen did this drifting apart start aniway? it past by be again. the moment wen we drifted. and i hardly realized it until now... wen were acres off. do they still remember me? difficult qn to ask really.

i hope to treasure my current and future friendships. i wun make dat mistake like i did wif dil again. hopefully

only one song can really show my feelings rite now

Hoobastank

The Reason


I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


i guess i'll spill all on another posting... watch out for it yeah?

euro... n wat the guys just don't notice.

i was watching england vs portugal the other day and hey, i was dissapointed. but im not here to give u guys a review... and give my two cents abt the match. nope, im not into the nitty-gritty details. however, there are many things abt soccer dat guys just dun notice!!! like why becks is such a star. is it because of his talents? sure, he was a sharpshooter. take note of 'was'. was as in back in 1998 and before that.

u see, the only reason why he is such a star is bcoz he is oh so cuuuuuuuuute! see, he went to real madrid(if im not wrong, dun sue me if i am) and instantly brings more revenue from sales of merchandise than all the other players COMBINED. look at ronaldo, true talent packed in one bald head. are his figurines selling? erm... the moral of the story, dun be talented n become like ronaldo, be totally non-talented and become a star like becham!

n did any guy at all notice dat the french coach (in france vs greece) was caught by the camera twice for ...gasp!... picking his nose!!! urgh!!! no wonder they lost(besides the fact dat france has always sucked). the moral of this story, dun date frenchies! they are totally disgusting!

and u guys said u were such experts in soccer.

abt ppl who curse

i m not trying to appear to be a nun. but seriously, i really pity these ppl. i mean its ok if u accidentally spat out the more colourful part of ur vocab should a soaring pig just fell rite on ur head as u were walking down the street... but for those who use these werds at the front, centre n end of every single one of their sentences... its disgusting really. it reflects alot on the speaker... abt the upbringing...and yada yada.

they either fall on one or all of the categories below:
:juvenile(puberty cums on late for sum)
:have a serious problem getting across to ppl
:have got no idea wat the werds actually mean
:plain stupid

anyone who reads this and wanna contest my views... well, just f*** urself.

arghhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhHhh!!

here i m at yj... i rushed all the way to school so dat i wun be late for my maths retest. guess wat... i arrived just in time. at 8am sharp, i was rite at the back of the exam hall... only thing was... i realized, much to my horror dat the gp paper was in progress! yup, NOT maths.
so there i was mentally kicking myself for all the hustle i went thru to get to school on time. i went to the library, rested for awhile... when sumthing finally sank in... i was supposed to take the freakin gp paper. by this time, i was already 30mins late. arghhh. so i skipped it. mite as well, rather then werk my butt off for dat paper and still fail it due to time constraint. urghhh! im such an idiot!

introducing...the chocolate starfish n d hotdog flavoured water!!!

heya! im in skool rite now... yj... haiya, eversince this economy drive thingy... cant even feel the aircon. all dat i can feel rite now is... the carbon dioxide of the fella sitting next to me... im kinda holding my breath... so im not really sure if he has bad breath... hmm... he sure looks like the type.... ah yjcians, there's bound to be sumthing wrong with em'.
arghhh... its almost the end of the hols now!!! i cant believe it. not only do they(they refering to the evil zoids dat run this school) take away from us 1.5 wks due to normal lessons... they're even taking away the whole of next wk for out yr 2 retests!!! oh the trauma im goin thru rite now... arghhh.
well... i really gotta go now... gotta buy a special sumthing 4 dat really special sumone... hahaz. peace outz!